Walrilla's Wonderings

WALrus+goRILLA=Walrilla! What's not to love?

30 April, 2007

Something I've Noticed

Something I've noticed since my amputation is that far more women than men offer to help me get in and out of my car. In fact, the ratio is something like 30:1. It's not like I need the help, but whenever a woman walks by when I am putting my wheelchair in my car, she will almost invariably ask me if she can help. I always politely decline and thank them.

I think the disparity comes from a desire to help someone. The women see me, a legless individual, putting that chair in the trunk, and see someone who needs help, regardless of my real ability. Men walk by and see the same event, but they figure, if I'm not asking for help, or lying on the ground bleeding, "Hell, he's got it figured out. He don't need me." and they're right. I do have it figured out, and most times, I don't need any help.

But if my wife ever leaves me, men will still see the same thing, but women are gonna see one needy, helpless individual.

I said I was able, not stupid!


Update: Hey, everybody. I wasn't talking about holding a door open for someone else, or stuff like that. Shoot, that's just common courtesy, and I still do that for others, even now that I'm in a wheelchair. Heck, anybody that wouldn't hold a door for someone ain't worth shootin', and refusing to accept gracefully is even worse. Hammer said he has held doors for people in wheelchairs before, and got his head bit off for it. Don't let it bother you, man. Just start walking in front of them and let rip a big, juicy, underwear-staining fart. It don't help the situation much, but you'll feel a lot better. B-)>

29 April, 2007

What Inspired My Love Of Classical Music

Well, here's my entry in V-man's latest meme, Our Favorite Saturday Morning Cartoon. This one is one of the greatest I've ever seen. The Merry Melodies line did much to introduce classical music to the general populace, to the point, where hearing it in another setting, the first thing to come to mind was, "Hey! That's that song from that cartoon!", which, hopefully, would inspire one to look into other pieces from that genre.

At least, that's what got me started.

And this one, while not really a cartoon, per se, makes me laugh every time I hear it.

Twisted? Me?


26 April, 2007

Music Of My Life

Shamelessly stolen from Viking Medic

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. NO CHEATING

How do you feel today?
Let Me Go, Rock 'n' Roll - Kiss

What’s your outlook on life?
Is It My Body - Alice Cooper

What does your family think of you?
Cat Scratch Fever - Hayseed Dixie

What do your friends think of you?
Farting With A Walkman On - The Bloodhound Gang

What do strangers think of you?
Mad Professor - Insane Clown Posse

What do your exes think of you?
My Best Friend's Girl - Hayseed Dixie

How’s your love life?
Witching Hour - Insane Clown Posse

How will your love life be in the future?
Cheap Sunglasses - ZZ Top

Will you get married?
Crosstown Traffic - Jimi Hendrix

Are you good at school?
The Most Truth - Hatebreed

Will you be successful?
Love Gun - Kiss

What song should they play on your birthday?
School's Out - Alice Cooper

What song should they play at your graduation?
Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner - Warren Zevon

The Soundtrack of your life?
Let's Put The X In Sex - Hayseed Dixie

You and your best friends are?
Another Love Song - Insane Clown Posse

Happy times:
Muscle Of Love - Alice Cooper

Sad times:
Detroit Rock City - Kiss

Every day:
Ralph Wiggum - The Bloodhound Gang

For tomorrow:
Pennsylvania - The Bloodhound Gang

For you:
Wait Until Tomorrow - Jimi Hendrix

What does next year have in store for me?
Going Nowhere Slowly - The Bloodhound Gang

What do I say when life gets too hard?
Excitable Boy - Warren Zevon

What song will I dance to at my wedding?
Billion Dollar Babies - Alice Cooper

What do you want as your career?
Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix

Your favorite saying?
Desperado - Alice Cooper

How will I die?
That Cough Came With A Prize - The Bloodhound Gang

I swear I didn't cheat. Those came straight from the player.



Crap! Crap Crap Crappity Crap!! I've gotten 10 or 12 spam comments today on my blog as I was informed by email, but when I go look for them to give them the flush they so richly deserve, I can't find them! They're blogspot comments, not Haloscan, but I still want to get them off of my site.

God forbid I ever meet one of those waste-of-flesh pondscum corksockers, I... I... I might run over his toes or something!



24 April, 2007

Here We Go Again

Well, gonna give this another go around. Here's another favorite of mine.

After you get through listening to that, go check out this site. I love this flash, even if it is, as Acidman would call it, @$%#in' catblogging.


23 April, 2007

A Lunch Funny

My mom picked me up from work today, and we went to lunch at a great Chinese buffet in town. We were sitting there, and as I emptied my plate from my second trip through the line, she looked at me and said, "You better watch out. You're going to gain back everything you lost.", referring to the 50 lbs. I lost after the amputation.

I quickly snapped back, "Not everything."

She just sat there with a blank look on her face, then it hit her and she started blushing. "You know what I meant!"

I am so glad I didn't turn morose and sullen after the amputation. This shit is just too much fun!


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22 April, 2007

Classic Rock

Well, everyone else on my blogroll seems to be doing this one, so here's my contribution.

Now, that one is the original, but my favorite rendition is by Commander Cody and The Lost Planet Airmen.(sorry for the video, but the song is authentic Commander Cody)

Now, that's rockin'!


Thinking Blogger? Who'da thunk it?

I am honored. The lovely Erica has picked me to be one of her Thinking Bloggers. That is an honor and an accomplishment. It's also a little weird, because I NEVER expected to be hit with this meme.

The rules, which are posted at the end, say I am supposed to pick 5 bloggers who make me think. That's not so difficult... Wait, I can pick ONLY 5? Oh, crap, that's a different story. Every single site on my blogroll makes me think! I'm serious! I believe you can learn something from everyone, if you just use your brain.

OK, let's see what I can do. Oh, and if you have already been picked, just leave a comment, please.

1. Baboon Pirates One of the first people I began to read when I discovered blogs, he and Just Christina were the major impetus for me to start blogging. His post on the relative merits of Cat-treats has to be some of the funniest material ever written.

2. Just Christina What can I say about this woman? Lovely, smart, kind, patient, fiesty... she's all this and so much more. Her posts are always so clear to the mind's eye, I feel like I am right there witnessing the scene.

3. K's Quest This gracious woman is one of the bloggers I turn to when I am in pain. Reading of her struggles with some of her health issues always put mine in perspective, and talking with her always makes me feel so much better.

4. Nancy's Garden Spot This lovely lady soldiers on with a very pretty garden and a heart as big as, no, bigger than Texas. And a caring for others that shines through all of her writing.

5. Dead Dog Walkin' - K-nine always makes me think. Of course, it's always thoughts of "screaming hordes of chipmunks". B-)> No, seriously, he is really a very astute blogger, who can really come up with some excellent thought-provoking material.

Ok. Here's the rules:

1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote.

Well, that wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. No, it was MUCH more difficult. I'm going to go lay down, my brain hurts.


UPDATE: El Capitan emailed me the permalink for the Cat Treat challenge, so that's fixed. Thanks, Cap'n!

19 April, 2007

24 Hours In A Daze

Crap! Let's not have a repeat of the last day, please!

It all started about 10:00 last night. My aunt called and said that the ambulance was picking up my mother and taking her to the ER because she thought she was having a heart attack. Mom had pain in her left shoulder, radiating up into her neck, a heaviness in her chest, and moderate difficulty breathing.

The phone hadn't even settled in the cradle before I was in my car cruising to the hospital. I didn't break any speed limits getting there, but I sure bent the hell out of 'em! I get there and the ambulance hasn't even made it yet, and Mom and I live about the same distance from the hospital. I have to wait fifteen minutes before they even got there, and once they did, another hour before they get her registered in, and allowed me to go back to see her.

I get back there, and she's sitting up, apologizing for getting me out of the house, and complaining that my aunt and some other family members "made me come to this damned place, and there ain't a damned thing wrong with me". I, of course, agreed with her, and proceeded to tell her exactly how much better it would have been if there really had been something wrong, and how much my daughter would have appreciated not having her grandmother around any more. That shut the complaining up in a hurry!

They ran tests, took x-rays, and took an EKG, all of which showed no problems(Thank God). They kept her overnight for observation, just in case. After that, it was more waiting in the ER room until they could get a bed. She was finally moved to a room about 03:00, where my brother-in-law and I left her to rest comfortably, as we went home to get some sleep. When I got home,I signed in to work and sent them an email saying I would be coming in late.

When I finally woke up this morning, I called in and said that I would be "working from home", code for "I have stuff to do, so I'm not coming in, but I'm available by cell or beeper, if needed". It's one thing to sneak around and do that. It's quite another to be told by your boss that he doesn't expect us to really work from home, but just to be available if needed. Sanctioned hooky is da bomb-diggity!! Anyway, I headed back to the hospital to sit with Mom until my appointment with my ortho doc.

After the appointment(which was good. I no longer have to put a garbage bag on my leg when I shower, now), I went back to my Mom's room. She asked me if I was ready to take her home. Turns out, no heart attack(good), only a dysfunction of her left ventricle(not serious), she's already on the appropriate medication to control it, and they're discharging her. So, more waiting! Yay! They finally discharged her a little after 06:30 this evening, and I took her to my aunt's place to spend the night tonight.

That made me late to the dedication of the new ball field for my daughter's special needs softball league. There's nothing on this field that would prevent a regular team from using it, just improvements like wider dugouts, bases level with the field, and a harder infield surface, all making it much more accessible for the kids with special needs. Major League Baseball, operating under the foundation of Baseball Tomorrow, donated a significant sum toward building this field. Drayton McLane, owner of the Houston Astros, spoke at the dedication, and signed my daughter's shirt. I got there a little after the game started, but was just glad to be there at all.If you're tired of hearing stories about sports parents arguing and fighting, and kids being put under severe pressure to perform, I suggest you go to a special needs game. Everyone cheers when a kid bats, both sides. Nobody yells, except words of cheer and encouragement. I tell you what, it does a heart good to see these games.

I finally got home around 09:30, and grabbed a quick bite. I'm going to bed now, to sleep until noon... Oh, crap! Tomorrow's only Friday! Guess I'll sleep until Too-Damn-Early o'clock, go to work, and pass out when I get home tomorrow.

Oh, well! Tomorrow's another day-and-a-half.


P.S. Mom? It's not a bother, it's called love, and you really didn't expect me not to be there, did you?

17 April, 2007

It's Here, It's Here!

Finally, the last thing I ordered for the blogmeet arrived. What is it, you ask? Why, only the most essential ingredient(besides booze) for a successful blogmeet.

That's right, cigars! Gotta have cigars at a blogmeet. Now, these are only Thompson's, not some super expensive premium brand, but they're supposed to be pretty good.

Hell, even if they stink worse than El Ropo's, They're still good enough to annoy the shit out of the other guests pass out to friends.

Now, I'll be even easier to recognize. I'll be the one with the long goatee, and the big cigar!

16 April, 2007

Makes You Think

You want to read something powerful? Something that will make you think? Go read this.

Then read the comments to see me get my ass handed to me, as I probably should have.

I am awed to be in the company of the people she places me with. It's like Superman saying the police do a good job at fighting crime, when everyone knows they can't do nearly as good a job as Superman, or Superwoman, as the case may be. I try to do a good job at remaining upbeat and cheerful, but she and these others... well, I'm just left speechless.

If you don't have k's quest on your blogroll, you're missing out on an outstanding person, and friend.

Go visit and blogroll her. Now.


12 April, 2007

Just A Reminder

It's gettin' awful durn close! Y'all need to show up, if'n ya want to meet some of the drunkest coolest people around.

Oh, yeah! A good friend of mine is going to come down with me, too! I'm really psyched about this meet, and he noticed it. We were talking about future plans for the next couple of months and he asked me what I was doing. I told him about the meet, and said "You ought to come with me". He kinda cocked his head, thought a moment, and said "OK". Actually, when he called to make his reservation, he was told our place is booked solid. No room left. So he found a room a little ways away, and will just drive over and back.(He's in training for his first triathlon, so we gotta re-corrupt him!)

Yeah, I'm definitely looking forward to this!


P.S. For anyone coming to the meet, and has been reading my blog for a while, I will obviously be pretty easy to recognize.

I'll be the one with the long goatee.

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10k Achieved!

Welp, there it is. At 09:39:42 AM, someone in New Haven, Connecticut came here from Eric's place and became my 10,000th visitor! YAY! I truthfully never thought I would get to this level. I realized long ago that I am not an erudite writer. Hell, I'm not even a half-way decent writer! Nor am I a fast typist. I'm kind of a half-fast typist.(Read that last sentence out loud to gain full appreciation)

I have met some wonderful people through blogging, have talked or emailed with others, and hope to meet and talk with many more. This blogging thing is a wonderful way to expand your horizons. I used to think I would never go to New York. Now, I want to go just so I can meet up with this lovely lady on her home turf. Hell, she's coming to mine, so the least I can do is get up to her stomping grounds sometime! I've talked with people from all over the United States, met some of them, and become good friends with them.

Anyway, back to the business at hand. If the lucky person from New Haven will identify themselves, I would think some sort of a prize would be in order, wouldn't you? I don't know what yet, but I'll come up with something.

Of course, it wouldn't have happened without all of you coming to read my "words of wit and shit", in the immortal words of GuyK. So, to all of you, a hearty thank you, a slap on the back, and the beverage of your choice(figuratively, of course)! I couldn't have done it without you.

Y'all really do mean a lot to me.



10 April, 2007


Holy Crap! I'm closing in on 10k visitors, and I hadn't even realized it. This is a momentous occasion for me. When I first started, I thought I would hit a million visitors in no time at all. After I had been at it for a couple of weeks, I realized how hard it is to generate ideas for new posts, and realized I would be lucky to hit 10 visits.

Along the way, I've met some damn good people, and I hope to meet some more. This May, I hope to meet a few, and I hope I can convince some others to come to Kerrville, too.

I thank each and every one of you for coming by to sit and whittle, and wonder, for a while.



09 April, 2007

I Gots Nothin'

I can't think of anything to say. Snow covered the ground Sunday morning when we woke up. Snow pretty much still covered the ground when we went to bed Sunday night. My dumb ass didn't get picture one of this phenomenon.

Thought you might like this video. These guys crack me up! Yeah, it's something like rap, but sung by a self-described "dumb white guy".

WARNING: (NSFW, mature theme, general dumb-assery, and assorted language violations)

07 April, 2007

Walking In A Winter Wonderland

It's snowing! It's freakin' snowing! I don't think you heard me! It's freakin' snowing! In Texas! In April!

It's usually 80 degrees or better at this time of year. I don't remember it ever being cold this late. It's 37 degrees out there right now, with a wind chill of 30. For Texas, THAT'S COLD!

In other news, I finally got to talk to this wonderful lady yesterday evening. I had a great time talking with her. I just hope she could understand me. I mean, mah Texas drawl accent is purty thick. Where else but Texas is shit a two-syllable word? Kerrville can't get here fast enough!


02 April, 2007

My First Day Back

Well, I made it through to the end of the day without passing out. Of course, all I did today is reorient myself with my libraries and datafiles. Amazing what you forget in just three months, isn't it? I have no recollection at all of what I was working on when I left in January, although it doesn't really matter because my coworkers have finished it for me and gone on to other things now. I guess I'll get back up to speed soon, but does my brain ever feel like a big sack of tapioca pudding now!