When you ain't got your sword!
As promised, this here is a tale of things better left unseen. Specifically, one certain thing. One certain tall thing.
As you all know, we went to the Texas Renfest weekend before last and saw lots of interesting things. Some cool costumes, lots of neat people, and some hilarious shows. And one thing we haven't been able to identify yet.
I wish we'd been able to get a picture of this... person, but we were too surprised to think straight. They were about 6',8", around 280 lbs., not fat, just big and solid, long hair, huge, gnarled, man-hands, and a rough, but smooth, man-face. They were wearing a dress, but that's not too remarkable at a renfest. All outward appearances said that this was a man.
Except one. Or, should I say, two. That's right, HE had BOOBIES! Not man-boobs, squished up by a corset, but BOOBS, real, bona fide, two-hump, estrogen-enriched, BOOBS. Not a stuffed bra, but bare skin cleavage. Now, I'm not a very sophisticated redneck, but I've "been to two county fairs and a mule-boinking", and I ain't never seen anything like that!
Oh, I've seen transsexuals before, and yes, they didn't look quite 'right', but not this bad. I really thought it was a man dressing as an "Amazon", until I saw it's
decolletage. There are just some things you wish you could unsee, and this was one. Hell, this was the number one sight I wish I could unsee.
Anybody got any eyeball bleach?